Where to start adopting a child from an orphanage

Many people are thinking about adopting a boy or girl from orphanage. But this is not always easy to do. A person who takes on the responsibility of caring for a child must understand that this is for life. Therefore, he must already be an accomplished person, capable of taking responsibility for himself and others.

Adopting a boy or girl from an orphanage is not always easy

For this reason, serious requirements are imposed on candidates for the role of adoptive parent. Anyone who wants to adopt a child needs to familiarize themselves with these requirements and the list of required documents.

The procedure for adopting a child from an orphanage is regulated by Chapter 16 Family Code Russia and some other regulations. Chapter 127 of the above Code sets out the requirements that must be met by persons wishing to adopt a child. The conditions under which deviation from some of these requirements are permissible are also specified. Let's look at each criterion in more detail.

Age restrictions for adoptive parents

A person who has reached the age of majority can adopt a child. It is important to understand that the candidate is assessed individually each time. Although, according to the text of the law of the Russian Federation, reaching the age of majority is required to obtain the right to accept a child into a family, in most cases it is required that the candidate be 18 years old. There are cases when adulthood occurs early.

This is realistic after turning 16 years old, if a person goes to work full-time under an employment contract or upon the onset of paternity or maternity. But in such situations, the court and guardianship authorities most often postpone adoption until the candidate turns eighteen years old.

It is important to understand that there are no regulated deadlines for making a decision on adoption. This is related to that. That the authorized body needs to make sure of the reliability of the candidate, to whom the state shifts responsibility for the upbringing, life and health of the child.

Required age difference

In addition, Article 128 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation regulates the minimum number of years by which a person who takes care of a child must be older than him. The age difference between them must be at least 16 years.

This is necessary in order to simplify the process of adaptation of the child and his upbringing. In order for someone else’s child to love the new parents as family and for him to obey them, he needs to gain authority.

Want adopt a child and from an orphanage... Where should I start?
Before deciding to take such a step, you need to think very carefully. This is where the adoption process begins. Know that in all the authorities where you then turn, you will be given the most unpleasant examples of families where adopted children were returned to orphanages through the courts. They will also tell you what diseases occur in orphanage children and what mental disorders. Will all this not break you or make you change your mind?
Then begin the long procedure of processing documents for the adoption (guardianship, guardianship) of a child from an orphanage.

Step one - guardianship and trusteeship authorities
In every city and region there are bodies (administration, division, department) for guardianship, trusteeship and adoption of children left without parental care. Names may vary, don't let that confuse you. You need to find the address and telephone number of your local authorities. Next, you call there, find out the reception time for people like you, and go for the first conversation.
You will be met by a management inspector who will be happy to answer all your questions, of which you will have many. It’s better to write them on paper in advance. You will worry and will definitely forget to ask something. The inspector will give you a list of documents that you will need to collect, and will send you on this great task. He will also give you a referral to a foster parent school, which you will need to attend for 5 weeks. By the way, they will accommodate you and select a convenient time for your classes.

Step two - collect documents for the adoptive parent
You will need to run a lot. First, you will invite representatives of the sanitary and epidemiological station to your place. They will look at your living conditions, evaluate whether you are dirty, whether the child can live with you, whether it will be bright, warm, whether there is a table where he will study, where he will eat, wash, etc. Then you will be given a conclusion about the possibility of a child living in your apartment.
Then you will go to the police and receive a certificate that you have not been convicted of causing harm to human health.
Then you will need to undergo a full medical examination to determine if you have chronic diseases. A psychiatrist will write to you to see if you are mentally ill, and a narcologist will tell you whether you are a drug addict or an alcoholic. The therapist will make a conclusion about the general state of health.
From work you will take a certificate of average wages and position held, characteristics. You will also need to write an autobiography.
You will take these documents to the guardianship authorities to your inspector, and after 15 days you will receive a positive decision. A negative decision is reported after 5 days.

Step three - meeting your child
The guardianship authorities will show you several photographs of children who live in the nearest orphanage, you will choose one, and then they will give you a direction to meet the child. You will have to meet with him within 10 days.
If contact with the child has not been established, then you write an application for a second meeting with another child. And so on until you find yours. If no one suits you at the local orphanage, then you can apply to the federal bank for children who can be taken into the family. In any case, know that a positive decision and the opportunity to choose are valid for 3 months.

Step four - trial
As soon as you have found your baby, in official parlance this is called “contact with the child has been established,” you collect a package of documents for the court. You write an application, attach everything that the guardianship authorities tell you, and wait for the appointed date. As practice shows, such matters are not postponed for long.
In court, you will once again have to voice your desire to take a child from an orphanage into your family, justify it, prove that you can raise him to be a worthy citizen. If the child is already 10 years old, then he will also be invited to answer whether he wants to join your family.
After the court makes a positive decision, you will be given a resolution, which you will need to take to the registry office, and on its basis, receive a new birth certificate for the child in case of adoption, as well as an adoption certificate.
Well then go to orphanage and pick up your baby, he’s already been waiting for you there!

Experts advise every potential to the foster parent First of all, carefully assess your capabilities.

The recommendations of Olga Isaevskaya, a practicing educational psychologist at the Volgograd Regional Center for Psychological, Medical and Social Support, will help you objectively weigh the pros and cons before making an important decision, and will also protect you from mistakes.

Seriously and for a long time

Many of us, having seen a poignant story about life in an orphanage, touching beautiful babies dreaming of moms and dads, periodically think about accepting a child into our family. But, unfortunately, not everyone reaches the doors of the orphanage. Just a desire and an emotional, albeit good, impulse to take in an orphan child is not enough.

Practicing psychologist Olga Isaevskaya advises those who want to become a foster parent not to rush. A decision made in an emotional outburst is a bad foundation for the future. You need to give yourself enough time to approach this decision with full responsibility. You accept a baby or teenager into your family seriously and for a long time. A child is not a thing bought in a store, which, if we don’t like it, we can return or simply throw away. Refusing guardianship and returning a child to an orphanage means inflicting further mental trauma on him. These children are for their short life have already fully experienced the betrayal of family and friends, loss and disappointment. When deciding to accept a child into the family, you must be focused on the fact that there should be no turning back.

“Remember, pity is a bad advisor, and it should not be main reason accepting a child into the family, says Olga Isaevskaya. - You should be aware of what drives your desire: what do you want? Help a child who is having a hard time? Experience the joy of parenthood, care and love? Or get a child from whom you will create the “ideal” one? Every person's motives are different. The most common ones include: the absence of one’s own children, unspent parental resources when one’s children have grown up, but one still has the strength and desire to raise children, the desire to make up for the loss of a natural child, the desire to have a second child when it is impossible to have children of one’s own, etc.”

"Wrong" motives

But in addition to the right motives, people are sometimes driven by the “wrong” ones. For example, there are often cases when there is discord in the relationship between spouses and they decide that with the advent of the baby, the relationship will become warmer and closer. This is fundamentally wrong. “A child comes to a family so that wise adults can help him cope with his problems, and not vice versa,” Olga Valerievna emphasized.

The psychologist advises that when making this serious decision, try to objectively assess your resources. Raising a child requires a lot of physical, emotional, and time investment. An adopted child who has a traumatic past experience needs a considerable amount of attention and care. On the path to creating a close relationship with your adopted child, along with moments of joy and happiness, quite natural difficulties await you. There is no need to be afraid of them, you need to be prepared for them. And your environment can help with this. Enlist the support of loved ones. Their help is yours additional source resources, strength.

“A very important point is the choice of the child and the form of his placement in a foster family. It should be taken into account that the more blood relatives he has, there is a likelihood of recovery in parental rights, there are grandparents, brothers and sisters who want to maintain relationships with him - the less he needs to be adopted. Another form of family structure would be more suitable for him,” says Olga Isaevskaya.

Do genes have an effect?

A special topic is the mystery of adoption. Remember, if you do not take effective methods to maintain the secret of adoption (moving to a new place of residence, simulating pregnancy), then the child must learn the truth from you and at the age at which he is able to love unconditionally. Until he is five or six years old, it will be easier for him to accept the idea that there can be two mothers and two fathers. The truth, revealed in adolescence, during the period of identity crisis, as a rule, has dire consequences. When finding out the truth from “compassionate and ubiquitous” neighbors or friends and comrades (and this almost always happens), the main trauma for the child turns out to be not that he is step-native, but that for so many years the closest people - those to whom he sincerely trusted.

An important factor is heredity. Many potential adoptive mothers and fathers worry that the bad genes inherited by the child from his unfortunate parents will negatively affect his physical and mental health. For some adoptive parents, genes become a convenient way to explain all the difficulties: “It’s not us who can’t cope, it’s his genes.” To prevent a child from repeating the antisocial lifestyle of his parents, he needs the support of loved ones. The experience of family placement confirms that after a year or two of living in a loving and caring family, the baby literally blossoms, he grows quickly, develops, learns a lot of new things, and in a home climate of care and attention, even chronic illnesses go away.

“Of course, a lot depends on the attitude towards the child, the parental position, the correct understanding of the place that he should occupy in the life of the family. Abandoned children are the fruit of an irresponsible attitude. But it happens that even in foster families, a child is faced with the erroneous position of an adult, and finds himself faced with the need to fulfill not himself, but the expectations of his foster parents, to solve their problems: self-affirmation, attempts to find the meaning of life at the expense of children, to receive a portion of approval from society. However, a similar position may be present among parents in relation to natural children, noted Olga Valerievna. - It’s another matter if adults want to show care and love in order to help another person grow, find their place in life, and realize themselves. The conclusion is that healthy, developed, adapted children can only grow up in a family where parents are aware of their desires and actions. But whether they are adopted or relatives is not so important.”

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