The jokes of 10 year old children are short. The funniest children's jokes

The little girl was left with her grandmother. In the morning, the child pesters his grandmother: Baba, pray and repent! Well, woman, well, pray and repent! The grandmother is shocked (the truth speaks through the mouth of a baby), goes to church, lights candles,
prays and bows. He comes back, and there is still the same song, pray and repent, pray and repent. The child is already in tears, the grandmother is half-fainting. Everything became clear when the parents returned. The girl asked to play the cartoon Baby and Carlson for her, she just didn’t speak well.

Mom gets her son ready for a hike:
- Here I put you butter, bread and a kilogram of nails.
- But why?
- It’s clear why! Spread butter on bread and eat!
- And the nails?
- Well, here they are, I put them in!

Mom, what is “pi”?
- Well, it's from mathematics. Then you will teach. Where did you hear it?
- Yes, here’s a poem: “And day and night, the learned cat walks around and around.”

10-year-old Polina looks at her newborn brother. The boy has already begun to react to the faces of his loved ones. He looks at his sister carefully and suddenly smiles widely. Polina notes with satisfaction:
- Well, of course he smiles at me. You are adults, and I am a children's group.

5-year-old Maxim and his 4-year-old sister Alisa are eating cabbage salad. After the meal the boy turns to Alice:
- Well, today at afternoon tea you and I were just like goats.
“No,” the girl corrects him. - There's only one goat here. And I'm a bunny.

6-year-old Kirill watches with interest as his father climbs a stepladder to paint the frames. At this moment, the mother approaches the child and says:
- When you grow up, son, you can help dad.
After thinking a little, Kirill asks: “Won’t dad finish painting by then?”

4-year-old Anton enters a subway car with his dad at rush hour.
- Well, let's see if people have a conscience? - the child says out loud.
- How is that? - the father is interested.
“Will they give way to a man with a child, or, as usual, will they lower their eyes,” explains the son.

3.5-year-old Panya is present during her mother’s conversation with the local pediatrician. The doctor, having examined the girl’s older brother, advises: “If the temperature rises, rub him with vodka.” - Vodka? - Panya is surprised. - We don't have vodka. Dad drank all the vodka.

9-year-old Vasya returns with his mother from the store, where they just bought two packs of cookies.
“There are six cookies in each pack,” Vasya thinks out loud. - That makes twelve. There are three children in the family. That makes four cookies per child...
Upon entering the apartment, Vasya sees three pairs of shoes from his older brother’s classmates.
“Mom, don’t tell me that twelve is divisible by six,” Vasya says sadly. - This is beyond my strength.

As a child, we didn’t worry about how we should dress - our parents bought all our clothes for us. And now you look at children’s photographs and realize that our parents didn’t really worry about how to dress us either...

Seryozha falls out of his crib at night. Mom runs up to him:
- Serezhenka, what did you hit?
- A bedside rug.

4 year old Allochka says:
- Uncle Kolya, I love you so much that I would tear off your legs.
- What are you talking about, Allochka! For what?!
- And then you would have been little and always played with me.

A boy sat on a tree and cried:
- Take me off, take me off...
And he was very lucky, because in the park where the tree stood there were a lot of people walking good people with cameras.

2 year old Danilka, after hearing a dozen fairy tales, is clearly overloaded with information:
- And dad and I saw the Swan Princess there in the picture. She sat and spinned by the window. And she is no frog!

Granddaughter asks:
- Grandma, how old are you?
- Sixty.
- Show me your fingers!

3 year old Ksenia at the zoo:
- Why do lions live in the desert?
- They have nowhere else to live.
- What, all the cages in the zoo are occupied?

We drive up to the house by car. A two-year-old nephew emphatically states:
- Uncle Zhenya, I know where to go here...
- Where to, Sashenka?
- Straight!

4-year-old Fedor tries to chew a peach pit for several minutes in a row.
- Son! - his father tries to stop him. – The bones must be broken with a stone or a hammer. You could break all your teeth like that.
“Well,” Fyodor answers, “let them grow like iron ones, like our Uncle Grisha’s.”

I was in China. While there was an excursion, a Chinese boy of about 3 years old ran in front of our group, laughed loudly, rolled on the ground and chattered something in his own language.
At our request, the guide translated, he yelled: “Ofieeeee, everyone has one face, eyes like a cow!”

Maxim's father decided to tell the truth about Santa Claus and other fairy-tale characters.
“So, son,” the frank dad begins, “in fact, there is no Santa Claus.” All these years I played his role, and my mother and I bought gifts for you...
“I know, dad,” Maxim interrupts his father. “And you were a stork too, my mother confessed to me.”

• Forward >

Jokes for children 9,10,11,12 years old are very funny, short and not very long, which will be fun to read!

I used to lead an active lifestyle - I played football and hockey, tennis, basketball. But the computer broke...

Conversation between two men:
-Is your watch running correctly?
- I have them on our hand!

Did you know that the true Lord of the Rings works in the registry office?

What is man's best four-legged friend?
- Armchair!

Slow people have been compared to turtles, but there have been no recorded cases of a turtle being late for anything.

My new Chinese phone works like a charm. But at the same time, like a telephone, it doesn't work...

Mom and son at the entrance to the zoo, son: Mom, mom, look monkey! - No, son, this is the aunt cashier.

Teacher: List me four pets
“A dog and three puppies,” Petrov answers cheerfully.

A happy hedgehog and a thoughtful hare are walking along a forest path. The hare asks:
- Hedgehog, are you always laughing?
— The grass tickles my heels.

- “Ivanov, who did homework: dad or mom?”
- “I don’t know, I was already asleep”

What to do when you fall in love at first sight?
Take a closer look a second time...

- Angelina, why do you drink so much water? - asks the mother.
— Because I ate an apple and forgot to wash my hands before eating.

In a psychiatric hospital, a patient says:
- I am Napoleon.
- Where did you get this from? - asks the doctor.
- God told me.
Another student indignantly intervenes in the conversation:
- No, I didn’t say so.

A father explains to his three-year-old son:
- No, this is not a horse with antennas, but a deer!

A girl takes a driving test. Gets into the car, the instructor says:
- You don't pass.
- But why? After all, I just got into the car!
Instructor:
- Yes, they sat down, only in the back seat.

Mom, I was so lucky at school today.
- Why?
— the teacher wanted to put me in a corner, but all the corners were occupied.

Conversation between two fishermen:
- Yesterday I caught a goldfish...
- That's lucky! What wishes did you make?
“I had to choose from two desires: to become the most beautiful, or to have a good memory.”
- And what did you choose?
- I don't remember …

— Tell me, please, is this cake fresh?
- Of course, look at the production date of January 1st!
- But today is only December 30th! - the buyer is surprised.
- You are very lucky with this cake from the future!

— Does your dog like children?
Yes, but more dog food.

There is a lesson at school, the teacher:
- Children who think they are stupid, stand up!
A few minutes pass, Nikita gets up.
teacher:
- Nikita, do you think you’re stupid?
- No... it’s just inconvenient that you are standing alone...

During the lesson, the teacher gave the children an assignment to draw cows grazing on a green field. Vasily brought a blank sheet of paper. the teacher asks:
- Why didn’t Vasenka draw green grass?
— The cow ate the grass
-Where is the cow?
- Well, what should a cow do there if there is no green grass?

Useful phone numbers:
roof is on fire - 01
no roof – 02
crazy - 03 Or one common number 112

The son asks the banker-father:
- Dad, you have a bank and the money in your bank belongs to the clients?
- Yes.
- Then where did the villa, the yacht, my private paid school and everything else come from?
- Let me explain... Bring me a big piece of lard from the refrigerator
Son brings, father
- Now, take it back
- Well, I took it, so what?
- Show me your hands, you see there is fat left on your palms and fingers...

Looking for some funny joke for kids? Then come to us: Humor, jokes for children 10 years old are very funny, short and funny.

It is difficult to believe that there is at least one person without a sense of humor - another matter if we talk about how subtle it is in some people. Humor covers all areas of activity people.

We joke about literally everything what we see and what happens to us, we joke about representatives of certain professions and nationalities, about relatives and friends, laugh at ourselves and situations, which we find ourselves in.

The main joke themes loved by all children are:

• fairy tales and fairy-tale heroes;
• friends, brothers and sisters;
• school, study;
• animals;
• holidays.

Jokes- a boost of energy for the whole day. Perhaps the most harmless and funniest jokes are related to children; they will make adults and children laugh until they cry. And since the main occupation of children is studying, that’s all the funniest children's jokes are related to school, students and teachers. Anyone can cheer themselves and their friends up by securing a couple of dozen short jokes about school. Here you can find:

• children's jokes about school;
• the funniest jokes about Vovochka;
• the latest school jokes.

Children's jokes about school

Parents ask a first-grader:

- How did you like your first day? Did you like school?

- First? Just don’t tell me that I have to go there again tomorrow!

- Sasha, name me at least one transparent object

- Keyhole, Marya Ivanovna!

After anatomy lesson.

— We heard that Vitya got a bad mark on his test!

- Why?

- For the cheat sheet. The teacher caught him while he was counting his ribs.

— Doctor, my child has strabismus.

- Is it congenital?

- No, from cheating.

- How much will it be if they give you one kitten, plus two kittens and four more kittens?

- Nine.

- Listen more carefully! They gave you one kitten, then two kittens and four more. How much in total?

- Nine.

- Then it’s different! I give you one watermelon, then two and then four more watermelons! How many?

- Eight!

- Here you go! And the kitten, plus two, plus four? How much in total?

- Nine!

- Yes, why?!

— Because I already have one kitten!

- Mom, dad, we wrote at school today!

- Well, read what you wrote?

The son complains to his mother:

- I don’t want to go to school anymore!

- Why?

- Again Vasechkin will trip me up, and Ivanov will shoot at me with a slingshot, and Sidorov will throw a textbook at me!

“No, son, you need to go to school,” says mom. — Firstly, you are already 50 years old, and secondly, you are a school director.

“Daddy, the doctors gave us vaccinations at school today!”

- Well done, daughter, you didn’t cry, did you?

- No, they didn’t catch up with me.

- So that they think that they are having a holiday.

— Vovochka what do you imagine the best school?

- Closed!

The teacher asks:

- Children, do you know that in heat all substances tend to expand, and in cold they contract?

- Certainly! - says Vovochka. — That’s why winter holidays are shorter than summer holidays.

- Sit down, Ivanov, five! Give me the diary.

- I forgot him.

- Take mine! - Vovochka whispers.

- Children, what order does the spectacled snake belong to?

- To the squad of short-sighted people!

- Vovochka, why are you so pale today?

“And my mother washed me yesterday.”

Vovochka was late for school. The teacher asks him:

- What happened, why so late?

- I was attacked by a bandit!

- Oh horror! And what did he do?

- I took away my homework...

The girl complains to her parents:

- How can I get rid of this Vovochka? There is no more strength!

- Why didn’t he please you? Over there he helps carry his briefcase after class.

- Yes, I’m tired: I’ve already accumulated about fifty of them!

The latest school jokes

During the test, the teacher closely monitors the students and sometimes kicks out those who notice spurs. The director looks into the classroom.

— Are you writing a test? There are probably a lot of people here who like to cheat.

- No, the amateurs are already in the corridor, only the professionals remain.

Anatomy teacher:

—What are the last teeth a person develops?

- Plug-in.

- What time is it: I jump, you jump, he jumps, they jump?

- Change!

- Do you know what is the worst thing for an excellent student?

- Get a bad grade?

- No, learn a lesson and not have time to answer.

There's a lesson in progress. There is noise and commotion in the next office, the teacher cannot stand it and heads there. He grabs the loudest one by the ear and takes him into his class. Ten minutes later the door opens, a student from that office looks into the class and quietly says:

- Can we have our teacher back?

The father asks his son:

- What can I do to stop you getting bad marks?

- Ask the teacher not to call me!

Teacher says:

- Everyone be quiet! So that you can hear a fly fly by!

Everyone immediately fell silent. Five minutes later Vanya can’t stand it and asks:

- Mikhail Ivanovich, when will you let a fly fly?

- Now let's prove the Pythagorean Theorem.

Student from the last desk:

- Or maybe it’s not necessary? We take your word for it!

When asked about the first female pilot, the students named Baba Yaga.

I go to school - no one... I go to Odnoklassniki - the whole class!

In a math lesson:

- Anya, how much will your mother pay for 3 kilograms of potatoes if a kilogram costs 30 rubles 10 kopecks?

- This is still unknown.

- Why?

- And she always bargains.

A high school student approaches his father:

Dad, they're calling you to school.

- What happened?

- Well, it’s a little thing, I broke the window.

Father went. A few days later the son again:

- Dad, they are calling you to school.

- What did you do again?

- Yes, the laboratory room blew up.

Father went.

The son approaches him for the third time:

- Dad, they ask you to go to school again.

- That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t go anymore!

- That's right, dad. Why do you need to walk through the ruins...

The son says to his mother: “I won’t go to school anymore.”
- Why?
- Fuck it, this school. Again Kuznetsov will hit him over the head with a textbook, Vasiliev will start aiming with a slingshot, and Voronin will trip him up. I won't go.
“No, son, you have to go to school,” says the mother. - Firstly, you are already an adult, you have turned forty years old, and secondly, you are the director of the school...

The son comes home and boasts to his father:
- Dad, I took the old lady across the road! Dad:
- Well done! Here's some candy for you. The next day the son comes with a friend:
- Dad, my friend and I moved the old lady across the road! Dad:
- Well done! Here's some candy for you. The next day, the son brings his entire class:
- Dad, the whole class moved the old lady across the road!
- Why are there so many of you?
- And she resisted...

Maxim, why does your dad do all your homework? -Well, what should I do if my mother has no time!...

A first grader comes to a school supply store and asks: - Auntie, do you have glue for 1st grade? - No, boy. - What about circled notebooks? - In what other circle? Not either. The citizen standing behind speaks angrily.
- Boy, don’t fool the seller and don’t waste people’s time. Girl, show me the globe of Ukraine...

During a lesson about the world around us: Teacher:
-Vovochka when is the best time? best time for picking apples? Vovochka: -When the dog is tied...

The son comes home from school and says to his father: “Dad, you are being called to school.” - What have you done? - Yes, I broke the glass. Father went. A few days later, the son says again: “Dad, they’re calling you to school again.” - What's this time? - Yes, the chemistry room blew up. Father went. A few days later, the son again says to his father: “Dad, you are being called back to school.” - That’s it, I won’t go, I’m tired. - Well, that’s right, there’s no need for you to wander around the ruins......

Mother wakes up her son for school: -Have you done your homework? -No. -Why are you sleeping then? -The less you know, the better you sleep!!!...

The son comes home with a bad mark.
- Dad, don't worry!
- Okay, just don't be offended!

Teacher to student:
- When is your birthday?
- October 5.
- What year?
- Everyone.

There is an arithmetic lesson in first grade. The teacher asks:
- Syoma, how much should your mother pay for two kilograms of apples, if one kilogram costs five rubles?
- I don't know. My mom always bargains like that!..

- Why weren’t you at school yesterday?
— My sister got married.
- Okay, just make sure this doesn’t happen again!

— Do you like going to school?
- Yes, but these hours between walking are the most disgusting.

The parish doctor was also a Sunday school teacher.
He asks the boy:
“Tell me, my young friend, what must we do to get to heaven?”
“To die,” the boy answers.
- That's true, but what should we do before that?
- Call the doctor!

A mathematics professor reads a book to his son at night.
Baby, sighing:
- Pa-a-ap! Yes, it's boring! I would go straight to the episode where the multiple Riemann integral is tested against the Darboux criterion...

1. Which river is longer: Mississippi or Volga? - the teacher asks Vovochka.
- Of course Mississippi!
- And do you know how much?
- Four whole letters!

2. Russian language teacher says:
— Children, how do you understand the phrase “visibly-invisibly”? Vova, answer.
- So it’s the TV that’s acting up!

3. Homework is only needed to quarrel between children and parents...

4. Mom asks Vovochka:
- How many tasks were on the test today?
- 15!
- And how many times did you decide wrong?
- Only one thing!
- The rest, then, right?
- No, I didn’t have time to decide the rest...

5. Winnie the Pooh is chewing a bun. Piglet comes up.
- Vinnie, let me bite the bun.
- This is not a bun... this is a pie!
- Well, let me take a bite of the pie.
- This is not a pie... this is a donut!
- Well, let me bite the donut.
- Listen, Piglet, leave me alone, you don’t know what you want!

6. Grandma, grandma! Why are your eyes so big?
- To see you better... - Why do you have such big ears?
- To hear you better...
- Why do you have such a big nose?
- Well, we are elephants, granddaughter...

7. Dad, did you have a tablet as a child?
— No, there were no computers then.
- What did you play then?
- On the street!

8. Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know what is most comfortable in
kindergarten!

Children's jokes are the funniest

9. Literature lesson. The teacher asks:
- Well, children, have you read “War and Peace”?
Silence... One guy jumps up and asks with dumbfounded eyes:
- Why did you have to read it???
Teacher:
- Well, yes…
- And I rewrote it!!!

9. Mom asks her son:
- Sasha, yesterday there were two pieces of cake left on the table. Now there is only one, why?
“I just didn’t notice the second piece in the darkness,” Sashenka answered.

10. A boy on a walk with his dad in the park saw two twins in a stroller. He looked at them for a long time
intelligent expression and finally asked dad:
- Daddy, where is my second one?

11. The girl came to her neighbor and said:
- Mom is very sick and wants strawberry jam.
- Oh God! What should you put it in? Did you take a glass or saucer?
- Yes, nothing is needed. I'll eat here.

12. Boxing in kindergarten. The ring judge gives the command:
- At different angles!
Boxers crying:
- We won't...

13. Chemistry lesson. Teacher:
— Masha, what color is your solution?
- Red.
- Right. Sit down, five.
- Katya, what about you?
- Orange.
- Not quite right. Four, sit down.
— Vovochka, the color of your solution?
- Black.
- Two. Class! Lie down.

14. Letter to Santa Claus:
- Grandfather Frost, I want Lenka to turn into a toad! And another gold bracelet.

15. Grandmother and granddaughter are sitting at a chamber music concert. The cellist is playing. Granddaughter asks
grandma:
- Grandma, when uncle saws his box, shall we go home?

16. “Your son shot with a slingshot during a lesson,” the teacher complains to the student’s mother.
- Ah! This naughty guy again lost the gun I gave him for his birthday.