Zhvalevsky Andrey and Pasternak Evgenia. In the fourth month of pregnancy: modern literature for teenagers Evgenia, you are using some feminine tricks

The writing duo from Belarus Evgenia Pasternak and Andrei Zhvalevsky reveal a terrible secret to their readers

One of the most popular and beloved authors for teenagers, Evgenia Pasternak and Andrei Zhvalevsky, recently released new book"Siamese". Andrey and Evgeniya are a long-established and successful tandem not only in their homeland - Belarus, but also in Russia. On the eve of the old New Year, we decided to remember with them about Santa Claus and magic, because they know about him firsthand.

Evgenia Pasternak and Andrei Zhvalevsky are a creative union of Belarusian writers that has existed for almost 15 years. Vitaly Pivovarchik

You have a book "The True Story of Santa Claus." Is there evidence of the existence of Santa Claus?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: Firstly, the undoubted proof of the existence of Santa Claus is the pterks and oohs. They were the ones who told us about Santa Claus. You won't suspect them of deception, will you? Secondly, the proof was the book itself. From time to time it seemed to write itself. Without the intervention of Santa Claus this would not have happened.

In “True History,” engineer Sergei Ivanovich Morozov, walking on Christmas Eve before New Year 1912 with his wife Masha in St. Petersburg, falls under magical snow, which, it turns out, falls here once every 50 years. Without even knowing it, the spouses become for the next half century the fulfillers of children's New Year's dreams - Father Frost and Snow Maiden. If these characters were you, what would scare you most about this new role?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: Responsibility. What if we offend someone? Shall we misunderstand? Shall we forget about some gift? Let's mix up the gifts? And the most difficult thing is to figure out which desires a person has are real, and which... so, invented. We wouldn’t have been able to cope here without the hiccups and oh-ohs.

Have there been miracles in your life? Can you remember any magical story?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: There was a lot of things. It was predicted in 2007 that Diagon Lane (Oruzheinika Fedorov Street) would be dug up at Christmas 2012 - and sure enough, it was dug up. In the book “Time is Always Good” they wrote that in 2018 there will be phones that roll up into a tube - and they have appeared.

But the most magical story happened while writing Moskvest. There is an episode when our heroes in the 15th century depict a wedding in a church and supposedly turn into doves. The church was found on the Internet - on Pushechnaya Street. In the 15th century it was already standing. And in the epilogue they decided to be hooligan: they wrote that nothing had changed in Moscow as a result of time travel, only a monument to two pigeons appeared near the church on Pushechnaya. Naturally, we invented the monument. And suddenly it turns out that there is a monument! Two pigeons!!! A hundred meters from that very church!!! We went there specifically, touched these pigeons with our hands... and began to take a more responsible approach to predictions.

Speaking of "Moskvest" - a book on the history of Moscow. Are you planning to write the history of Minsk?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: We are not planning history, Moskvest was very difficult for us, we are physicists by training and are accustomed to the exact sciences. But history turned out to be so... elusive and so variable that we are not yet ready to dive into it again. But we wrote the story “The Siamese”, in which we confess our love for modern Minsk.

The most difficult thing for Santa Claus is to figure out which desires a person has are real and which are just made up. Gifts are a big responsibility

Yes, there are a lot of Belarusian words there. Your heroes are in love not only with each other, but also with Minsk. Would you like to publish a book in Belarusian?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: We really want to. As practice shows, if we want something, then nothing can stop us. So it's just a matter of time.

All books of this tandem arouse constant interest among readers and publishers.

In one interview you said: we ourselves have not yet left adolescence, we tell everyone that we are 14 years old. But if in New Year you could make a wish and go back at least a day to the past. Which day would you prefer?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: We would be afraid to interfere with our own past. Just look at how it really was - in our adolescence. Because we remember our feelings, some events... let’s see how it all looked from the outside. But we cannot choose a specific day.

They say husband and wife are one Satan. How about a creative tandem? It happens that you write and realize that you look at things differently, everyone pulls the blanket over themselves, what should you do then?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: It happens that we understand differently, but no one pulls the blanket anywhere. Apparently, ours is very large, enough for both of us.

Evgeniya, do you use any feminine tricks?

Parsnip: Why? If any tricks were needed to work together, all this would have ended long ago. All these “tricks” are actually types of manipulation, and I can’t stand it.

If you could meet any of the departed children's writers, who would you choose? What important question would you ask?

Pasternak and Zhvalevsky: Oh... it's better to read writers than to talk to them... But if you choose, then, probably, with Astrid Lindgren. We would ask her whether it was difficult to organize a revolution in children's literature. And how it was received by critics and readers. Did she think that she would become a classic?

And the Brothers Grimm would have been asked just one question: “How do you write together?”

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Authors who have long been loved by everyone - adults, children, librarians, teachers and the jury literary prizes- the stories “Time is Always Good”, “I Want to Go to School”, “The True Story of Santa Claus” and many others have written a new book. In it, Andrei Zhvalevsky and Evgenia Pasternak take the reader by the hand and lead them away from school... Where? What do high school students do after school? Many things - for example, dancing. The plot of each chapter quickly revolves around one of the students of the studio ballroom dance. Each of them has something to worry about - from unrequited love and problems with parents to finding their place in life. But in the finale, the heroes’ personal problems give way to a common misfortune: the fate of their coach, a tough man, but wholeheartedly devoted to his work, is under threat. Some errors will be corrected, and some will not - an open ending will not solve all problems and will not provide ready-made answers to the main questions. But the heroes of this story will come out of it as different people - and the reader, most likely, too.

Genre: Children's adventures
Author:

In the most ordinary library, peace and quiet reign, and books live their own life, separate from people. Everything changes with the arrival of a young intern, Kira: she definitely wants to return readers to the library, and books to readers. At first, the library fraternity - both books and people - are hostile to the new girl, but soon more important problems arise. The second volume, evoked at a seance, " Dead souls“Gogol quickly seizes power over books and people - his methods are devilishly effective, and his goals are vague and ominous. When the vanguard of the resistance is defeated, and the library is about to be closed... Salvation, of course, will arrive - not miraculous, but very natural and modern. But you still need to live to see it and finish reading this exciting story - and definitely finish reading it with pleasure, and not through force. You can't read by force at all.

Genre: Stories
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

The fourth-graders of a regular high school are incredibly lucky. Or maybe you were unlucky, depending on how you look at it. Their teacher (and also the school principal) is a witch. No, she doesn’t fly on a broom and doesn’t brew a potion from bats, but she can send you to visit saber-toothed tigers or to the trolls, enchant the door and show what's going on inside mobile phone. At first, fourth-graders are scared, and then – terribly interested. Especially those of them who learned to cast magic themselves.

Genre: Children's prose
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

Yesterday the most terrible monster was the basilisk from your favorite book, and today your closest friend dies, your boyfriend turns out to be not only yours, and school turns into hell. More than anything, I want to forget all this like a bad dream, but I can’t. Because if not you, then no one will unravel the tangle of problems. And you have a choice - fight to the last or... what, give up?!

Genre:
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

Do you discuss “scary” topics in your family? Did mom and dad tell you how “this” first happened to them? And in general: do you communicate often? Not “How are you?” – “Fine” – “What’s at school?” - “Fine,” and a heart-to-heart? No? This is because February 52nd has never happened to you. And for the heroes of the story “February 52nd” it happened. The authors admit that they never learned to talk to their children about first love. But maybe you can do it.

Genre: Children's prose
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

This is fantasy, a fairy tale and an incredible thing. In this book you will not meet aliens, Baba Yaga or, at worst, talking animals. But you will get acquainted with an amazing school, where students run to in the morning with one thought: “I wish I could hurry!” It makes your wildest dreams come true - from flying to hot air balloon before traveling to Elbrus. There are no usual “subjects” and “parallels” in it, but there are a bunch of projects and a brotherhood of like-minded people. In a word, a miracle, not a school. However, like any miracle, it is very fragile. And one day, students have to stand up to defend their dreams.

Genre: Children's prose
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

Everything was mixed up in the seventh “A”: war and love, explosions and disasters, battles and... love again. This is such an age - a leap from childhood to adolescence. Going to the cinema with a girl is tantamount to winning the Golden Fleece. A fight in a vacant lot is as senseless as any of the world wars, and roses on the doorstep can completely change the world, even if only for a few minutes. But the adults around us don’t understand all this. And there are so few words to explain to them. Because like... look... well, in short... Many stories from this book were included in the collection “Shakespeare Never Dreamed of,” which became one of the winners in 2012 All-Russian competition for the best literary work for children and youth "Kniguru".

Genre: Contemporary Russian literature
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

Who said that a cat and a dog must live... like a cat and a dog? It really all depends on the cat. And from the dog. And also - from that strange feeling that makes a yard dog protect a domestic cat from his own pack. And the cat herself is sad about her outbred, stunted, fold-eared loved one. And sex... What about sex? Even sex is not an obstacle to real feelings. In addition to the new story “Like a Cat and a Dog,” the book includes two stories adjacent to the popular tetralogy “M + F”, but much less known. Which, in the authors' opinion, is unfair - to them, “I Deserve Better,” and especially “MopKoff-on,” seem to be perhaps the best books in the “adult” series.

Genre: Historical fiction
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

History is a capricious lady. As soon as one careless teenager scolded her at the walls of the Kremlin, he and his interlocutor were thrown so far away that it would take a whole book to get out. “Where are we? How do we get out of here? How to survive? - ask the heroes of the book. I really want to help them, because we have the Internet at our fingertips, but they remember little even from the school course! And the school course does not always coincide with what happens before the astonished gaze of unwitting time travelers. Especially when you have to face Dolgoruky’s warriors, give advice to Kalita, defend Moscow from Tokhtamysh, or work as an interpreter for the English ambassador. It is also a novel about love...

Genre: Children's fiction
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

You shouldn't have touched the oak! Then nothing terrible would have happened. And when they touched it, that’s when it started. Evil spirits crawled out of all the cracks. The brownies and office workers are for our high school students, the evil spirits are against. Perun throws lightning on the roof, Koschey is trying to break through the vicious circle, talking cat feeds the mermaid with stolen sausage, Newton’s second law is temporarily not working, “The Tale of Igor’s Campaign” appears before your eyes as if in 3D format, but in fact in reality - the magic solvent helped... Do you want to continue? Read for yourself.

Genre: Children's prose
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

...Travel engineer Sergei Ivanovich Morozov, walking on Christmas Eve before the New Year 1912 with his wife Masha along Diagon Alley in St. Petersburg, falls under magical snow, which, it turns out, falls here once every fifty years. Without even knowing it, the couple become for the next half century the fulfillers of children's New Year's dreams - Father Frost and Snow Maiden. They are shocked by the new possibilities and for a long time consider all the miracles they create to be random coincidences. But the eyes of the novel's heroes are opened by the birds and the oohs - representatives of the fairy folk who become their constant assistants on New Year's days and nights... "The True Story of Santa Claus" combines fairy tale and a story about real story Russia in the twentieth century. It is addressed to children aged 8 - 12 years, those who have not yet completely given up their faith in the New Year's miracle, but are already ready to learn the truth about the life and history of their country.

Genre: Contemporary romance novels
Author: Andrey Zhvalevsky, Evgenia Pasternak

The first domestic “book series”, written in the genre of the “ironic love story”, which is extremely popular in the West (the most famous representative of the genre is “Bridget Jones’s Diary”). The main characters (Muscovite Sergei and Minsk resident Katya) find themselves in a series of random events that completely change their lives. If only they could read each other’s thoughts... But readers have such an opportunity (since each episode of the novel is described by both Katya and Sergei) - and discover that men and women not only feel, but also see, hear, think completely differently . “M + F” will allow every reader to try on these romantic adventures: strange, funny and unexpected. Critics called the book series by Andrei Zhvalevsky and Evgenia Pasternak “M+F” “the funniest and most touching love duet recent years" Of course, the cinema could not pass up such a gift - and now the roles of Katya and Sergei in the film “M+F” were played by the heroes of the popularly beloved television series “Don’t Be Born Beautiful” Nelly Uvarova and Grigory Antipenko. Watch the movie and read the book “M+F”.

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2016 knigi-tut.net - Here you can read and download books. -

Once upon a time, at a tender age, in the 7th grade, I decided to read “Life” by Maupassant, about the “seditious” content of which I had already heard from experienced friends. To be honest, I found the novel boring. I was about to leave him, but then grandma intervened. Seeing the book in my hands, she began to reproach me so passionately for reading an “adult” novel that I realized that I had to read it. In order not to irritate their relatives, a trick was invented. I sat down in the room when my little sister slept during the day, and put a newspaper on the secretary, under which I hid the book. Thus, I read the novel without anyone noticing...

I remembered this long-ago incident recently, when my seventh-grader niece, coming to visit us, was reading a book on her phone, which her friend had recommended to her, without stopping. I must say that she, like most of her peers, does not particularly like to read. Naturally, I became interested in the book. It was called "February 52", wrote it Andrey Zhvalevsky and Evgenia Pasternak. Having found it with difficulty on the Internet, I downloaded it to read it when I had time... But the next day my niece asked about my attitude towards the book. Hearing that I had not yet started reading, she suddenly became happy and said:

And don't read it!
- Why? - I asked in surprise.
Confused, the girl said:
- I don’t want you to know WHAT I’m reading...

And then I realized that I just needed to read this book as soon as possible. Once I started, I couldn’t put it down.

The heroes of the story, Dinka and Timka, are 15-year-old teenagers, with all the ensuing problems. The time of first love promises a person many questions that are inconvenient to ask either parents or teachers. You have to decide everything yourself, making mistakes and making mistakes.

Both guys have what they think are important dates that are canceled on this day. The reason for this is an unprecedented snowfall that paralyzed the life of the big city. Cars get stuck in endless traffic jams and are immediately covered with snow. Volunteers who responded to the VKontakte call come to the rescue. Armed with shovels, they help townspeople caught in the snow... The storm raged despite the spring date - March 25, which someone on the Internet had already wittily called February 52.

Both heroes are immersed in romantic experiences and seem to infect their parents with them. Timka's dad and Dinka's mom, having shed their years, turn into the same age as their children and experience the thrill of first love. This loving aura helps parents understand their children. And they, in turn, are amazed that their mom and dad were also once desperately in love.

The story is very easy to read. Andrei Zhvalevsky and Evgenia Pasternak simply tell the story of first love and (oh, horror!) first sex, which does not always end happily. They help the young reader understand himself and who at this moment is dearer than anything in the world.

I think teenagers will find this book interesting. I would also really like their parents to read it. After all, many are simply not ready for a serious conversation with their growing children, which is why mutual resentment and irritation arise. And it is so important to remain friends during this difficult period.

For those who are interested in the story, I inform you that it was published in the 10th issue of the Ural magazine for 2013, which can be found on the Magazine Hall website.

A week ago, Andrei Zhvalevsky and Evgenia Pasternak, writers whose books are addressed mainly to teenagers, came to Moscow. “Time is always good”, “Like keep it short”, “I want to go to school”, “Gymnasium No. 13”, “Moskvest” are read by even the most non-reading children, while those who do read them swallow them with pleasure. Because it's good books about today's life, modern school, about the reality, problems and joys that are familiar to everyone.

Both writers are from Minsk, but publish mainly in Moscow; they are not husband and wife, just friends; Evgenia Pasternak has nothing to do with Pasternak the poet. Their first children's book was published in 2002, and in just 10 years they became, perhaps, the most popular teenage Russian-speaking writers.

How did you start writing?

Andrey Zhvalevsky: I've been writing something all my life, since I was five years old. He wrote poetry, some plays, and published a handwritten journal with his friends. When I grew up and started earning money, I became so bored...

Who did you work for?

AJ: At first I was engaged in computer design of securities. It's so rare profession that few people needed it. It was an interesting creative task, but then, after seven years, we started printing postcards and labels, and it became boring. I started writing books. Science fiction stories are naturally bad. Then, with Igor Mytko, our physicist friend, we wrote a book about Porri Gutter, it’s a parody of Harry Potter. For obvious reasons, it immediately began to sell well. Looking back, I understand that everything turned out very well.

Evgenia Pasternak: We're generally lucky.

AJ: This Porri Gutter was one of the ten best-selling books in Russia.

Have the books already been published by the Vremya publishing house?

AJ: Yes, it is always with us.

EP: The director of the publishing house is my father. It turned out like this. Andrey and Igor started writing this Porri Gutter. Who should I show it to? I advised you to contact your dad. And so the editor of the publishing house grabbed the manuscript with a death grip and said: “We will publish it!” Urgently!"

AJ: She called immediately. “Come to Moscow, we’ll sign an agreement urgently! How much time do you need to finish writing? This was already more than 10 years ago. I really enjoyed writing. At that time, Zhenya gave birth to her first child, and I had already changed jobs and went to a publishing house that dealt with technical literature. And I came up with the idea of ​​a computer tutorial for women. All books that have been published on this topic were written taking into account male psychology. I turned to Zhenya to write me such a tutorial.
Again, why did I go to Zhenya? What pulled me? She first wrote a wonderful tutorial, which is still on sale, and now a whole series has been published. And then she suggested that I write a book together in which the same events are told from the perspective of a man and a woman.


EP: The result was the book “M + F”. This is our first art book, romance novel. I also sent it to my dad. But dad, as a man of the old school, who grew up in the Soviet Union, was categorically against publishing his daughter in his publishing house. But then the editor, Alla Mikhailovna Gladkova, intervened again, who told Zhvalevsky that the authors do not leave us alive.

AJ: She is like that with us - strict and fair. We published four books “M + F”.

EP: The result, as they later explained to us, was such a brilliant marketing move. We wrote only about what we know. What do we know? We know the underside of the scribes. Therefore we have main character, Katya, works for book exhibition, A main character- in the publishing house. And the scribes latched on to this, because the reverse side is familiar to them. It got to the point that at some book fair our “M+F” was given as a gift along with a package of documents that is given to all participants.

AJ: And then there was another brilliant marketing move, but no one knew about it then either. We suddenly started writing children's books. Alla Mikhailovna forced us too, we were still obedient authors then. Back in 2002, she said that she needed to write a book about Santa Claus. There were stories about Santa Claus, it’s clear where he came from. And no one knows where Santa Claus came from. Zhenya and I started digging and were surprised to discover that he was only 100 years old.

EP: We never aspired to become writers. We never thought that this was something so important and necessary that we had to come to it. When we start writing a book, we never think that we are writers. We tell a story, dive into this or that topic. We get interested. It fits together like a puzzle - a piece here, a piece there. We don't write it, it writes itself.

AJ: We first started writing books, and then for a very long time we shuddered, especially Zhenya, when she was called a writer.

Would you like your books to be discussed in class at school?

EP: Within the current system - no. There are excellent literature teachers, with whom we are ready to discuss anything. But there are teachers from whom you want to run and hide. And God forbid I get into any training manual now.

In one interview, you said that books are a way for you to communicate with your own children. Has it always been like this?

EP: Starting with our second children's book, “Time is Always Good.” This is a dialogue with my daughter Sasha. She grew, and the age category of books grew along with her. “Time is always good” is the fifth grade, “Gymnasium No. 13” is the seventh, “Moskvest” is the ninth, and then we returned to the seventh grade.

AJ: This is the most interesting, most difficult age. Such an explosive mixture of everything. When girls of marriageable age sit next to girls with pigtails. This is something!

You also said that you write for teenagers because you still feel like teenagers yourself.

AJ: Yes, it is very easy for us to imagine how a 14-year-old person feels, how he reacts to external stimuli.

EP: In fact, I remember being a teenager very well. Sometimes I look at my daughter, and it seems to me that I am reflected in her, like in a mirror.

AJ: Probably, the fact that we are stuck at this age is some kind of psychological aberration, perhaps it needs to be treated.

And what, even a teenage feeling of contradiction is not alien to you?

EP: No, this is probably still adjusted by age. And that's why it's easy to write about it. When you are constantly tearing and rushing, it is impossible to put it on paper. All teenagers are schizophrenics. Sharp outbursts of aggression, uncontrollable emotions, sometimes laughter, sometimes tears. There are two of you all the time. One says that this is not good, and the other says “I want.” Crazy raging hormones. This is not foreign to me at all. But if an adult already knows what it is and understands what to do about it, then a teenager doesn’t know, it’s more difficult for him.

AJ: The main feature of a teenager is truly his duality. He lives in two worlds - an adult and a child. In some ways, like a child - spontaneity, directness. And an adult already understands the rules of the game, that there are some conventions, that you need to restrain yourself, think about what you say. I can say all this about myself.

Does translated Western literature influence you in any way?

Much more translated teenage literature is now being published. Why do we have so little of it?

EP: Why? There is Dina Sabitova, Marina Aromshtam, Artur Givargizov, Stanislav Vostokov.

AJ: In fact, there is a lot of literature for teenagers now, it just has not yet reached the general reader. She is in such a latent state, about a month into the fourth pregnancy, when the fetus is already formed, but the belly is not visible.

Who else can you name?

EP: A lot of people. Natalya Volkova, Yulia Kuznetsova, Nikolai Nazarkin, Eduard Verkin, Nail Izmailov, Konstantin Arbenin, Anna Ignatova, Aya eN, Elena Gabova, Tamara Mikheeva... There is a huge galaxy in the Urals. Olga Kolpakova, Svetlana Lavrova. We are very afraid of forgetting someone. Natalya Evdokimova, Evgenia Basova, Daria Vilke, Sergey Kuznetsov, Elena Rakitina, Dmitry Sirotin, Alexey Oleinikov. These are authors from all over Russia, some live abroad.
Do you communicate with each other?

AJ: Yes, sure. For example, DETGIZ conducts seminars, praise A.Yu. Nasonova.

EP: She pays for everyone's travel.

AJ: By the way, DETGIZ is one of those publishing houses that wants to make a separate teenage series. Meshcheryakov Publishing House, Samokat, and Pink Giraffe have such series.

EP: There are even bigger parties in Lipki, hosted by Sergei Filatov.


AJ: And the Ekaterinburg party. There is such an organization there - the “Commonwealth of Children's Writers”. We also met many authors when we received the Mikhalkov Prize, which has existed since Soviet times.

That is, it’s all there, but it’s still seething and foaming inside. I remember our first children's seminar. Then, besides us, no one else had books. And now three years have passed. Natalya Volkova is a winner of the Mikhalkov Prize, Tamara Mikheeva became famous, Eduard Verkin, who wrote some serial action thrillers, published two complex, problematic books, also awarded with prizes. Daria Wilke received second place in the Russian Prize. There is a feeling that just a couple more years are needed - and all these people will be known just like us.

Exactly the same thing happened with adult literature. At first there was a dominance of translated authors, somewhere in the 90s, and then Russian-language writers gradually began to appear.

Do I understand correctly that writing has now become your main profession and you can do nothing else?

AJ: Of course not. You can’t live on this, just bread and water.

What else do you do?

AJ: I write scripts for Russian television.

EP: And I have a husband.

AJ: I think most children's writers need a husband now. This probably explains the gender composition of children's authors.

A. Zhvalevsky, E. Pasternak

Time is always good

Reviews from test readers from LiveJournal

I finished reading it. Simply great! Honestly, it was impossible to tear myself away!


You know how to squeeze a tear out of a reader. I myself don’t understand why, but while reading the ending, I sat and sniffled.


The idea is great! And the absence/presence of books, and division into columns, and the beating of the heart, and “eye to eye” - this is vital. Great.


I read it in one sitting. Let's binge, so to speak. I really like it!!!


I was ungodly late for training (it was impossible to tear myself away), so I’m unsubscribing right away, without delay, so to speak. Interesting, dynamic! The tears came not only at the end. In the place where Olya and Zhenya hold hands in the middle of the class. Well, a couple of times closer to the denouement.


It began to drag out about a third of the way through the book and then gradually increased, i.e. everything is fine with the dynamism. It’s easy to read, it will bring out tears where needed, and you’ll giggle often. I didn’t bother at all with the time continuum; no questions even arose. It's a convention, that's all. In general, the idea and implementation are great!


Zhenya P., Andrey Zh. How did you, adults, manage to write about us children in such a way that it was interesting for us to read?

I woke up from a joyful “kook-ka-re-ku” and turned off the alarm clock on the comedian. She got up, walked to the kitchen, and turned on the computer on the way. There is still an hour before the first lesson, it’s quite possible to see what was written on the forum overnight.

While the computer was loading, I managed to pour myself a cup of tea and listen to the standard from my mother:

Olya, where did you go, eat like a person at the table for once.

“Yeah,” I muttered, stole a sandwich and went to the monitor.

I went to the school forum. As usual, the Internet lived a busy life at night. Big Monkey quarreled with Bird again. They argued for a long time, until two o'clock in the morning. People are lucky, no one makes them sleep.

Olya, you have to leave in half an hour, and you’re still in your pajamas!

Well now...

I looked up from the computer irritably and went to get dressed. I really didn’t want to drag myself to school, especially since the first lesson was a math test. No class has written this test yet, so the assignments did not appear on the forum, and I was too lazy to look for last year’s assignments in the archive. Then physical education, history and only one decent lesson - OKG. And what they teach us there! Print? School program hasn't changed for ten years! Ha! Yes, now any normal schoolchild can type a text faster than speak.

While I was getting dressed, I still finished reading yesterday’s forum swearing. And then my eye suddenly caught the fact that there was a personal message in the box. I opened it and... my heart began to beat very often. From Hawk...

The message was short. "Hello! Do you have a boyfriend? - but my hands were shaking. Hawk visited the forum rarely, but accurately. Sometimes when he writes something, when he makes a joke, everyone comes running to read it. And once he even wrote his own poetry. Hawk is just the dream of all girls. In private they often only discussed what Yastreb would write about something new. And most importantly, no one knew who he really was.

What Hawk wrote to me, Titmouse, was just like a bolt from the blue.

Olya, are you going to school?

Oh, and why go somewhere else if here she is, real life. Now I would like to sit down, calmly come up with an answer, and write. And then to find out his ICQ number and chat, chat at night... I closed my eyes with happiness. And then she took her briefcase and sullenly trudged to the door.

The fourth quarter is the coolest. To summer holidays There is just a little bit left, about a month and a half. And most importantly - before summing up the annual marks. I love April very much, and even more - the end of May. A couple more tests, collecting diaries... and you open the last page, and there are solid, well-deserved A's. And a certificate of merit to boot...

No, I’m not wondering, but it’s still nice. To be honest, when I was called to the head teacher, I had no doubt that I would hear something pleasant. And when I entered and saw the senior pioneer leader in the office, I decided that this pleasant thing would be connected with my position in the detachment. Maybe they will introduce squads into the council? That would be great!

But I only got it half right.

Sit down, Vitya,” Tamara Vasilyevna, our head teacher nicknamed Vassa, said sternly, “Tanya and I are talking to you as the chairman of the detachment council!”

I sat down, automatically thinking: “There is no need for a comma before ‘as’, because here it means ‘as’.”

Tanechka and Vassa looked at me sternly. Now it was clear that we would talk about some important, but not very pleasant matter. Perhaps about an unscheduled collection of scrap metal in honor of the opening of a new Komsomol construction site.

Do you remember, Vitya,” the head teacher continued, “Zhenya Arkhipov brought Easter cake to school on Monday?”

I was surprised. Some unexpected question.

A bun? - I clarified.

Kulich! “Tanya corrected me in such a nasty voice that it became clear that it was all about this cake.”

I nodded.

Why are you nodding? - Tanya suddenly hissed. - No tongue?

It didn't look like a leader. She usually spoke to me friendly and even respectfully. Not like with everyone else. I said hastily:

I remember how Arkhipov brought a bun... Easter cake!

Tanechka! There’s no need to yell at Vitya,” Vassa tried to speak more softly, but she didn’t do it well.

It’s not his fault,” the head teacher continued.

I stopped thinking about anything at all. What is your fault? Why didn’t we eat this bun… Easter cake in the dining room?

But this is blatant... - Tanechka began, but Vassa did not let her finish.

Victor,” she said in her usual commanding voice, “please tell us how it all happened.”

I told everything honestly. How Zhenya brought the bun, how he treated everyone, how everyone ate. And Voronko even treated Irka to a meal, although they had quarreled before. And he treated me. The bun was tasty, sweet, just a little dry. All.

What were you talking about? - the pioneer leader asked threateningly.

“I don’t remember,” I admitted frankly, after thinking.

“You were talking about Arkhipov’s grandmother,” Vassa told me.

Yes! Exactly! - I was glad that I remembered what I needed. - He said that she baked a bun!

Two pairs of eyes glared at me.

Why did she bake this... this bun, do you remember? - the head teacher’s voice sounded insinuating.

I remembered. I felt hot. Now it’s clear why I was called.

Well... - I started. - It’s just like that... It seems...

Here! - the senior pioneer leader raised her finger accusatoryly. - What a pernicious influence! Vitya! You never lied! You are the chairman of the squad council! Excellent student! Your dad is a party worker!

I felt really bad. It was really the first time in my life that I lied to my senior comrades. But I didn’t want to tell the truth at all. So I decided to remain silent.

Eh, Victor, Victor... - Vassa shook her head. - Is this what I taught you? Is this what the pioneer heroes did? Is this what Pavlik Morozov, whose name our squad bears, did?

The head teacher looked sternly at the counselor, and she stopped short. Apparently, now was not the time to remember past achievements. I looked at the floor and felt the hot color flushing my cheeks.

We were silent for a while, and with every second I was getting hotter.

So,” Vassa rasped quietly, “don’t you remember why Grandma Arkhipova baked Easter cake?”

I didn't move. It was as if tetanus had attacked me.

Okay,” the head teacher sighed, “I’ll have to remind you.” Grandma Arkhipova baked this cake... Easter cake!.. for the religious holiday "Easter".

I listened to this steely voice and remembered the vague rumors that circulated about Vassa. Either she personally demolished the monuments to Stalin, or protected them from demolition... It was not customary to talk about this now, so no one knew the details. But that she distinguished herself at the same time is for sure.

“Grandma Arkhipova,” the head teacher continued, “is trying in this way...

Vassa fell silent, searching for words, and the pioneer leader came to her aid:

Trying to fool me! And lure into the net of a religious dope.

The head teacher frowned. She, a Russian language teacher with extensive experience, did not like something about the phrase “network of religious dope.” But she did not correct Tanya; on the contrary, she supported her.

That's it!

The head teacher and pioneer leader fell solemnly silent. Probably to make it clearer to me.

They tried in vain - it already dawned on me that it couldn’t be better.

And what are you going to do about it? - Vassa finally asked.

I could only squeeze out:

We will no longer...

The leader and head teacher rolled their eyes so much that they themselves looked like religious old women from some movie. And then they explained to me what I should do.

The day at school was not going well from the very beginning. The math teacher went completely wild and started the lesson by collecting comedians from everyone. That is, I wrote the test as if I had no hands, no one to talk to, no spurs, no calculator. Just like in prehistoric times! The main thing is that many people have second comedians, but somehow didn’t think of taking them with them. Yes, and then she actually got weird, took and handed out papers to us - this, she says, is a test, decide. The class was stunned. How, he says, should it be solved?

And she smiles so sarcastically and says: write on a piece of paper with a pen. And a detailed solution to each problem. Horrible! I haven’t held a pen in my hands for probably six months now. I can imagine what I decided there and how I wrote it all. In short, a score of three, probably out of ten...

So compared to this control, everything else was just seeds. But the forum was buzzing all day. We can’t even put the tasks on the grid, no one thought to steal a piece of paper to scan it, and you can’t remember it by heart either, and it didn’t occur to you to write it down. Then, during all the lessons, we didn’t go offline, and we kept talking about comedians. No matter who you look at, they all have comedians under their desks and only their fingers flicker - they are typing messages. And there were almost two hundred people on the forum at the same time, this is the whole parallel of the fifth grades, and even curious ones from others got in. During breaks we only had time to skim through the topic and answer questions. You move from office to office, plop down on a desk and immediately go to the comic room to read what’s new there. It’s funny, when you walk into the classroom, there’s silence. And everyone is sitting, typing, typing... It’s more convenient, of course, to use voice typing, but not in the classroom! Because then everyone will immediately know your nickname. And this cannot be allowed to happen. Nick is the most secret information.

I knew a couple of nicknames. Beauty is Ninka, Murekha is Lisa. And I also guessed about a few people, but I didn’t know for sure. Well, literally three people also knew that I was Sinichka. Sinichka - because my last name is Vorobyova. But if Sparrow wrote, everyone would immediately guess that I am me, wrote Titmouse. And I found such a cool avatar - a titmouse sits and shakes lard from the feeder.

Once we had a story, a girl from the seventh grade was declassified. One of her friends wrote online that Violet is Kirova from the seventh “A”. Horror... So she then had to go to another school. Because you can write if everyone knows it’s you! It’s even impossible to flirt, it’s like openly confessing your love to someone! Brrr...

And only the most trusted people know my nickname. We are friends with them. We even went to a cafe together once when it was my birthday. I know everything about them. Both ICQ and email. In short, these definitely won’t pass!

So, about the day that didn’t work out. Our last lesson is class hour. Our teacher comes and says in such an angry voice:

Come on, put away all the phones.

We already jumped. Someone even said out loud:

What, you all conspired or something!

And the teacher, our class teacher, Elena Vasilievna, barks:

Phones on the table! And listen carefully, now, one might say, your fate is being decided.

We became completely silent. And she walked through the rows and turned off the comedians. Well, actually the end of the world...

And then she came out in front of the class and read in a tragic voice:

I will briefly retell it in my own words.

Due to the excessive computerization of schoolchildren and to test their knowledge, establish at the end of each academic year exams. The grade is given on a ten-point system and included in the matriculation certificate. This is so that, they say, we have studied well all years, and not just the last grade. Yes, but the worst thing is not this, but the fact that these exams will not be held in the form of tests, but orally.

What? - asked one of the boys.

I even looked back, but I didn’t understand who asked, I can’t tell them apart at all.

There are three exams,” Elena Vasilievna continued, “Russian language and literature - orally, mathematics - in writing, but not on a computer, but on paper, and history - also orally. This is done so that you, modern schoolchildren, can learn to speak at least a little and write with pen on paper. Exams are in three weeks.

The class is frozen. So they dispersed in complete horror. I didn’t even turn on the comedian until I got home...

In the evening I had to prepare for political information. There was just a program about how the American imperialists are trying to disrupt the Olympics in Moscow, but people of good will are not allowing them to do this. But I couldn’t concentrate - I sat and thought about Zhenya. He was wrong, of course, but my heart was still disgusted.

In the end, I realized that I did not understand anything from the announcer's story, and turned off the TV. Dad will come to dinner and bring “Pravda” and “Soviet Belarus” - I’ll copy it from there. I called Zhenya, but my grandmother answered the phone.

He's been running somewhere for two hours now. You tell him, Vitenka,” Zhenya’s grandmother’s voice was creaky, but pleasant, “to go home!” I'm worried! It's going to get dark soon!

I quickly promised and ran into the yard. The fact that I had to talk to the culprit of this whole story upset me even more. Grandmother, of course, is old, about fifty years old, or even seventy, but this does not justify her. You can’t let your own grandson down like that!

I went to look for Arkhipych on our pear tree - the one near the transformer booth. There weren’t even any leaves on it yet, but it’s so cool to sit on the tree and dangle your legs! The branches are thick, you see everyone, but no one sees you!

Zhenka! - I shouted, approaching. - Get off, we need to talk!

A giggle was heard from the pear tree. I had to climb myself. Arkhipych sat at the very top, where I was always afraid to climb. When I was little, back in second grade, I fell from the lowest branch of this pear tree, and since then I have been terribly afraid of heights. Now, too, I didn’t climb up, I settled down on my favorite branch in the very center of the tree. The branch was thick, reliable and curved very comfortably - like the back of a chair.

Why are you silent? - I asked angrily. - Silent... Giggling...

Hello, Taras! - Zhenya responded.

Only he called me Taras, by name Ukrainian writer. We haven’t gone through it yet, but Zhenya has read half of his home library, including this Taras Shevchenko. Moreover, I read haphazardly, everything that came to hand. I couldn't do that, I read the books strictly in order. I even tried to master the Great Soviet Encyclopedia, but broke down on the second volume. There were too many unfamiliar words. But I read everything by Pushkin - from the first volume to the last. Now Gogol has started.

Usually I liked it when Zhenya called me Taras, but today for some reason I was offended.

I'm not Taras! I'm Victor!

Why are you so angry, Taras? - Zhenya was surprised.

Nothing! - I snapped. - I’m telling you: get down, we need to talk! What are you doing?

Come on, come to me! It's great here!

I didn’t want to climb, but I had to. The conversation was such that... In general, I didn’t want to shout about it to the whole yard.

When I carefully sat down on the branch closest to Arkhipych, he screamed:

Pitching! Whistle everyone up! - and began to swing the top.

I grabbed the branch with all my might and prayed:

Enough! It will break!

It won't break! - Zhenya objected, but still stopped the “pumping”. - So what did you want?

I began to talk about the conversation with the leader and the head teacher. The more he talked, the gloomier Zhenya became. And I was getting more and more sick - either from the height, or from something else. When I got to the most unpleasant part, I even had to shut up for a minute, otherwise I would definitely throw up.

And what do they want? - asked Arkhipych, and at that moment his voice became as creaky as his grandmother’s.

I somehow caught my breath and answered:

So that you can say that there is no God! Right in front of the whole class!

That's all? - Zhenya immediately cheered up.

Not everything, I admitted. - You need to... in general... say that your grandmother did the wrong thing by giving us that bun. And you're ashamed that she believes in God.

I'm not ashamed of anything! - Zhenya creaked again. - What difference does it make whether he believes or not? She is good and kind!

This goes without saying. But she believes! So you should be ashamed!

This is nonsense! I won't say that!

Then do you know what they will do to you? They'll kick you out of school!

They won't kick you out! I'm the smartest in the class! If you kick me out, then everyone else should be kicked out too!

It was true. Arkhipych never really crammed, but only received “nickels.” I was also an excellent student, but some A's were not easy for me. Especially in the Russian language - well, I couldn’t write a long word without there being corrections in it! And in drawing they gave me a B only out of pity. I can’t even draw a straight line even under a ruler. I try very hard, but it's all to no avail. Oh, I wish I could invent such a thing so that it would draw the lines itself! I pressed a button - a line, pressed a second - a circle, a third - some tricky graph, like in the Pravda newspaper on the second page. And if the thing itself corrected errors... But this, of course, is already fantasy.

But Zhenya knows mathematics and Russian very well, and remembers all the dates in history, and draws almost like a real artist. He's right, they won't kick out such a good student. Yes, I didn’t believe it myself when I said it. Yes, I wanted to intimidate.

Well, they will scold you!

Let them scold! They will scold you and leave you!

There was nothing to object to. Although I really wanted to.

I realized that I envy Zhenya. I really don’t like it when people scold me. Not because my mom and dad scold me - to be honest, they are rarely home. I just don't like it, that's all. Then I remembered Arkhipych’s grandmother’s request.

“And your grandmother is waiting for you to come home,” I said vindictively. - He's worried.

Zhenya immediately jerked to get off, but resisted. Only girls run home at the first call. We chatted a little more, but after about five minutes Arkhipych said casually:

I'm kind of hungry. I'll go get something to eat! Bye.

Bye,” I replied.

Zhenya dashingly jumped to the ground and walked with an uneven gait - as if he really wanted to run, but he had to restrain himself.